In the wake of El Clasico overload and his mother’s Twitter revelation that he could be in for a move to London, Kaka has decided to once again visit a local school and answer the children’s questions. The following is a transcript of that session.
Kaka: Hello boys and girls! I am overjoyed to be here with all of you and I hope I can answer any questions you have for me. So, let’s begin. Who has the first question?
Ray: Hi, Kaka. My name is Ray, I’m 9 and I like football. My question is: How happy were you to win the Copa del Rey?
Kaka: Oh, I was very happy, Ray! It was great for us to win a trophy and we all felt we accomplished something tremendous by beating Barcelona. It does make me sad to think what happened to the trophy, though. I have been praying for Sergio Ramos not to drop things anymore.
Andi: Hi, Kaka. I’m Andi and I think you’re nice. How are you going to punish your mother for Tweeting that you’re going to London? Will it involve an angry tiger?
Kaka: Haha, no no, Andi. I won’t punish my mother for anything. I love her. I will talk to her about being more careful when she tweets, though.
Harry: Hi, Kaka. I’m Harry and I eat horse meat. Why did name your new baby “Wart”? That seems mean.
Kaka: Oh, no, Harry. Caroline and I did not name our new daughter “Wart.” Her name is Isabella and she is a beautiful baby. We are very happy. Where did you hear that?
[Harry runs away]
Kaka: OK, uh, who has another question? You — in the black jacket.
Kaka: Please don’t be shy, young man. Do you have a question for me?
Kaka: Heh, you, uh, you look quite angry. Please, just relax and ask a question.
Kaka: OK, maybe we should move on and, uh, pretend he isn’t staring at me like that.
Sophie: Hi, Kaka. My name is Sophie and you’re my most favorite footballer ever behind Messi, Ronaldo, Didier Drogba and every other professional footballer in the world. I wanted to know: If you could hit Pep Guardiola in the face with a fork or a garden hoe, which would you use?
Kaka: Um, wow, I — don’t want to hit Pep Guardiola in the face with either of those things. He’s a great man and a great coach. I don’t know why you would ask that. Maybe you have me confused with Jose Mourinho?
David: Hi, Kaka. I’m David and I’m pretty sure that guy in the black jacket wants to kill you. My question is: Why did you turn my dad into an alcoholic by losing to Barcelona in the Champions League? He lost his job and he said it’s your fault we can only eat twice a week now.
Kaka: Oh wow, that’s awful, David. I promise you that we didn’t intend that to happen, but wow. I — I’m sorry. And…I think maybe we should have one more question. Is there anyone with a question about how much fun the World Cup in Brazil will be or how I’m feeling today?
Black Jacket: I have a question.
Kaka: OK, uh, yeah, OK.
OMG hahahahahhahaha These kids are unbelievable!!! GOD.